Resiliency

"Resiliency" is a contemporary term for what other generations might have called tenacity or grit or stubbornness. Resiliency is the ability to face difficult situations and have the perseverance to not only survive but to thrive.

We are just beginning to see the difficulties associated with COVID-19. Each day many of us check the headlines to see how many diagnosed cases are in our geographic area and how many lives have been taken by this insidious virus. Last week alone over 6 million American citizens filed for unemployment. In our Commonwealth we are currently under orders from our Governor to stay home, leaving only for necessities (like groceries or important medical appointments) and then to minimize contact with others.

If you have not yet experienced the death of someone you know from this pandemic, the time will soon come. My doctoral program cohorts are from around the country. One of my cohorts is an Executive Pastor at a large African-American church in Brooklyn, New York City. She has described the situation as beyond words, and that she is now being personally impacted by the death toll. Another cohort who lives in Austin, Texas, reported that her brother has died due to the virus.

Sometimes it feels like we are sheltering in place, watching the reports, listening to the experts (and non-experts), just waiting to be hit. It's a war-time scenario of a different kind. Unlike World War II, covering our windows and extinguishing all lights for a blackout effect will not prevent this enemy from coming. Unlike the war on poverty (LBJ's effort to provide equity to the forgotten), we have few effective tools to prevent or fight its spread. This can be an anxiety-producing time for all of us, especially those of us who underlying health concerns.

So what do we do? One way we can think and pray through what is upon is to remind ourselves of the value of resiliency. A colleague of mine in the Minnesota Annual Conference of the UMC blogged about resiliency earlier this week. Research shows that resilient people have at least three ways of looking at the world:

(1) They tend to be meaning-makers.

(2) They believe they have agency.

(3) They see successes and failures as teachers.

So, one of the ways we can help ourselves right now is to be intentional in strengthening our resiliency. Here are some ideas (keyed to the above three research findings):

(1) Take time to read deeply in the Scriptures ... identify what the writer is saying for his own particular context, then ask yourself how those words apply to yours. Is there a phrase that stands out as you read? Focus on it, think about tit, pray with it. Make meaning from the sacred texts of our faith tradition. Suggestions: the Psalms (any of them are good), Lamentations (perhaps we are in a period of lament ourselves), Job.

(2) Excise from your thinking the idea that you are a victim ... a victim because you have a compromised immune system ... a victim because you believe this is some sort of conspiracy you have no control over ... a victim by blaming others for what is an epidemiological plight ... a victim based on media reports (not enough beds, not enough ventilators, no known cure). These are the days to pull out those scripture texts that remind us who God is in our lives: Joshua Psalm 46, Psalm 121, Romans 8:28, Joshua 1:5-7. Beyond the spiritual, stay focused on keeping and boosting your health: adhere to the CDC guidelines about social distancing, eat healthily, exercise and enjoy the beauty of creation all around us, especially as spring crowns God's glory.

(3) As recovery groups say, make an honest and unflinching review of yourself. Where have you been successful? What are you most proud of? Where have been least successful? How have you learned from your mistakes? Who in your life has most disappointed you, and what can you learn about yourself?

One of the blessings of being a pastor is to know people beyond the surface level. It is such a privilege to be welcomed into the depths of individual and family lives through great celebrations and grievous woes. As I pray through my church directory, and as I envision your faces and names on a regular basis, I am identifying in my mind those areas of strength and resilience I see in you as individuals and as a congregation. (If you need me to tell you personally what resiliency I see in you, email me or give me a call. I'd be happy to encourage you).

I leave you with a thought from A. A. Milne (author of Winnie the Pooh):

You are stronger than you seem,

Braver than you believe,

and smarter than you think you are.